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How men work.

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#1 OFFLINE   Flesh Wound

Flesh Wound

    Yardstick for lunatics.

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Posted Nov. 22 2017 - 12:31 PM

Here are the rules:


Men's Rules
We always hear 'the rules' From the female side
Now here are the rules from the male side.
Please note.. these are all numbered '1 '  ON PURPOSE!
1. Men are NOT mind readers
1. Learn to work the toilet seat.
You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down.
We need it up, you need it down.
You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down.
1. Sunday sports It's like the full moon or the changing of the tides.
Let it be.
1. Crying is blackmail.
1. Ask for what you want. 
Let us be clear on this one: 
Subtle hints do not work!
Strong hints do not work!
Obvious hints do not work!
Just say it!
1. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.
1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's what we do.
Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.
1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument.
In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 Days. 
1. If you think you're fat, you probably are.
Don't ask us.
1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one 
1. You can either ask us to do something or tell us how you want it done. Not both.
If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.
1. Whenever possible, Please say whatever you have to say during commercials.
1. Christopher Columbus did NOT need directions and neither do we.
1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings.
Peach, for example, is a fruit, not a color. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea what mauve is.
1. If it itches, it will be scratched..
We do that.
1. If we ask what is wrong and you say 'nothing,' We will act like nothing's wrong.
We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.
1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, expect an answer you don't want to hear.
1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine...Really. 
1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as hunting, fishing, golfing, or something with wheels.
1. You have enough clothes.
1. You have too many shoes.
1. I am in shape. Round IS a shape!
1. Thank you for reading this.
Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight.
But did you know men really don't mind that? It's like camping.

  • devil duck, Steelborn1, Snake46 and 2 others like this


Flesh Wound


I believe in my God. My County. And Myself.




I do not burn bridges.
I just loosen the bolts a bit every day.
Keep shooting until your target changes shape or catches fire.


#2 OFFLINE   wish2no


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Posted Nov. 22 2017 - 12:36 PM



“You have rights antecedent to all earthly governments: rights that cannot be repealed or restrained by human laws….” ~ John Adams

“All laws which are repugnant to the Constitution are null and void.” [Marbury vs. Madison, 5 US (2 Cranch) 137, 174,176 (1803)]

"Where rights secured by the Constitution are involved, there can be no rule making or legislation which would abrogate them." [Miranda vs. Arizona, 384 US 436, 491 (1966)]

"The claim and exercise of a constitutional right cannot be converted into a crime." [Miller vs. U.S., 230 F. Supp. 486, 489 (1956)]

"There can be no sanction or penalty imposed upon one because of his exercise of constitutional rights." [Sherar vs. Cullen, 481 F2d. 946 (1973)]

"Constitutional rights may not be denied simply because of hostility to their assertion and exercise: Vindication of conceded constitutional rights cannot be made dependent upon any theory that it is less expensive to deny them than to afford them."
[Watson vs. City of Memphis, 373 US 526, 535 (1963)]

"The state cannot diminish Rights of the people." [Hurtado vs. California, 110 US 516 (1884)]
“No one is bound to obey an unconstitutional law and no courts are bound to enforce it.” [16 Am. Jur. 2d, Section 177; later 2d, Section 256]


“A system of licensing and registration is the perfect device to deny gun ownership to the bourgeoisie.”

–  Vladimir Ilyich Lenin

#3 ONLINE   Steelborn1


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Posted Nov. 22 2017 - 02:39 PM

Posted that on FB. Let the flaming begin!

"Sittin' on 2000 horsepower of nitro injected war machine!"
"Pigs are just life support systems for bacon and BBQ!" Redbarron



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Posted Nov. 22 2017 - 09:41 PM

:lol: that was awesome, FW.

If at first you don't succeed, then bomb disposal isn't for you.
Ignorance can be cured by knowledge, Stupid is Forever.
"The man who has no sense of history, is like a man who has no eyes or ears."

"On every unauthoritative exercise of power by the legislature must the people rise in rebellion or their silence be construed into a surrender of that power to them? If so, how many rebellions should we have had already?"

"Cultivators of the earth are the most valuable citizens. They are the most vigorous, the most independant, the most virtuous, and they are tied to their country and wedded to it's liberty and interests by the most lasting bands."

#5 ONLINE   calebj06


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Posted Nov. 22 2017 - 09:54 PM

A really good one.

#6 OFFLINE   devil duck

devil duck

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Posted Nov. 22 2017 - 10:37 PM

Lol, thank you sir for that post.

Edited by devil duck, Nov. 23 2017 - 11:55 AM.

Sometimes lady luck just bends you over and calls you Sally
I came into this world with nothing, I still have most of it left.

Some people are like Slinkys. Pretty much useless but still make you smile when you push them down the stairs.

There is no right way to do something wrong.

Everyone brings joy to your life. Some when they come into it, others when they leave.




    Damn Business

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Posted Nov. 22 2017 - 11:26 PM


Isn't that one of the seven signs of the coming apocolypse? Plagues, famine, Noneya buys a gun...


#8 OFFLINE   alpo


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Posted Nov. 23 2017 - 07:02 AM








#9 OFFLINE   ScoutnUSA


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Posted Nov. 23 2017 - 10:51 AM

Nailed it!!!!!!!

#10 OFFLINE   NugginFutz


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Posted Nov. 23 2017 - 11:40 AM

:hysterical3:  Absolutely on the mark.  Especially number one.   

#11 OFFLINE   devil duck

devil duck

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Posted Nov. 23 2017 - 12:00 PM

I let the wife read it. She actually laughed. We have a running joke when she asks some question and I give the correct answer. She responds with "you studied didn't you"

#12 OFFLINE   Winkel


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Posted Dec. 02 2017 - 08:13 PM

Now that there is funny!

#13 OFFLINE   Rocker2277


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Posted Dec. 06 2017 - 11:34 PM

These really are rules to live by. Good one.



Remember the Alamo! Remember Goliad! And Remember... Don't Mess With Texas!


National Rifle Association, National Association for Gun Rights, Texas State Rifle Association,

Mauser Shooting Association, Grand Prairie Gun Club



#14 OFFLINE   Retcop


    No Country for Old Men

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Posted Dec. 07 2017 - 06:56 AM

Well played.


The days of going unarmed in America are over


Shoot what you like; like what you shoot.

#15 OFFLINE   Srgt. Hulka

Srgt. Hulka

    Girl Scouts Cookie/Crack Pusher

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Posted Dec. 07 2017 - 07:30 AM



I don't know how I missed this before.



I think #1 was the best.  


Lighten up Francis! "


Democracy is two wolves and a lamb voting on what to have for lunch. Liberty is a well-armed lamb contesting the vote."

Benjamin FranklinA"


Any man who thinks he can be happy and prosperous by letting the Government take care of him, better take a closer look at the American Indian."

Henry Ford


Growing old is mandatory. Growing up is optional. 


"We need to Kill Them.  We need to Kill them."  

Judge Jeanine Pirro on radical Muslim Terroists.





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