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You might be an extreme redneck if...


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5 replies to this topic

#1 ONLINE   Flesh Wound

Flesh Wound

    Yardstick for lunatics.


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  • Location:Dallas, TX


Posted Mar. 17 2018 - 07:29 PM


1. You let your 14 year old daughter smoke at the dinner table in front of her kids. 

2. The Blue Book value of your truck goes up and down depending on how much gas is in it. 

3. You've been married three times and still have the same in-laws. 

4. You think a woman who is out of your league bowls on a different night. 

5. You wonder how service stations keep their rest rooms so clean. 

6. Someone in your family died right after saying, ‘Hey, guys, watch this.’ 

7. You think Dom Perignon is a Mafia leader. 

8. Your wife's hairdo was once ruined by a ceiling fan. 

9. Your junior prom offered day care. 

10. You think the last words of the Star Spangled Banner are, ‘Gentlemen, start your engines.’ 

11. You lit a match in the bathroom and your house exploded right off its wheels. 

12. The Halloween pumpkin on your porch has more teeth than your spouse. 

13. You have to go outside to get something from the fridge. 

14. One of your kids was born on a pool table. 

15. You need one more hole punched in your card to get a freebie at the, 'House of Tattoos.'

16. You can't get married to your sweetheart because there's a law against it. 

17. You think loading the dishwasher means getting your wife drunk.


  • smb5769, ChileRelleno and xSmokey like this


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Flesh Wound

 

I believe in my God. My County. And Myself.

 

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The rules. (h/t Graham Combat)
 
1. NOBODY IS COMING TO SAVE YOU.
2. EVERYTHING IS YOUR RESPONSIBILITY.
3. SAVE WHO NEEDS TO BE SAVED.
4. KILL WHO NEEDS TO BE KILLED.
5. ALWAYS BE WORKING. 
 
And.... BFYTW.

 


#2 ONLINE   towtruck

towtruck

  • Group:Senior Staff
  • Posts: 18,548
  • Joined: Jan. 31 2011
  • Location:California


Posted Mar. 17 2018 - 08:17 PM

:ROFLLMAO:




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Accuracy over OCD !
 
 


#3 OFFLINE   NONEYA

NONEYA

    Damn Business


  • Group:Senior Staff
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  • Joined: Sep. 17 2005
  • Location:Arizona


Posted Mar. 17 2018 - 09:03 PM

:ROFLLMAO:




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Isn't that one of the seven signs of the coming apocolypse? Plagues, famine, Noneya buys a gun...

Pepper

#4 OFFLINE   alpo

alpo

  • Group:Gold Patron
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  • Joined: Sep. 24 2005
  • Location:Mississippi


Posted Mar. 18 2018 - 06:31 AM

:hysterical3:




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NRA LIFE MEMBER

 

 

 

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#5 ONLINE   xSmokey

xSmokey

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  • Joined: Apr. 08 2018
  • Location:Saint Peters, MO


Posted Apr. 15 2018 - 01:31 PM

Bwahahaha




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ΣΙ βΙΣ ΠΑΚΕΜ ΠΑΡΑΒΕΛΛΥΜ

SI VIS PACEM PARABELLUM

 
ΣΙΚ ΣΕΜΠΕΡ ΤΙΡΑΝΝΙΣ
SIC SEMPER TYRANNIS
 
ΜΟΛΩΝ ΛΑΒΕ
MOLON LABE

#6 ONLINE   Bentwrench

Bentwrench

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  • Joined: Mar. 06 2015
  • Location:Shelbyville, MI


Posted Apr. 15 2018 - 03:02 PM

:bellylaf:







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